Late Night Shockers
by Goth
Summary: What happens when Bankotsu is caught in the most embarrassing and shameful moment of his life by Jakotsu.


A/N: Alright, this is my first inuyasha fic, and, though I'm really not that big a fan of the show (but I'm drawn to it as soon as a sexy villain appears Naraku would be a nice example) I just had a really good inspiration for something…hehe. In any case, I have taken quite an interesting liking to Jakotsu…damnit for a gay guy he's got some nice muscles…not to mention the fact he's an absolute gorgeously ruthless killer drooooooool. So, enjoy.

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah….you know it, I know it, let's get on with the show here people, come on!

The rays produced by the television danced with the shadows lingering across Bankotsu's pale face as he leaned comfortably into the soft cushions of the couch. The remote rested on his thigh as a small smile slipped across his lips. Red lights on the VCR situated beneath the television announced the current time as four thirty-one A.M. This was the best time to slip into his secret life, the one that no one, not even his closest friend Jakotsu was allowed to know about. It would damage his image, it would surely be career suicide.

"Wow, I've never seen anything like that…I wonder how they do it?" he murmured with trance-like qualities. The volume on the TV was pitched so low that even his breathing had to be slowed and every thought inside Bankotsu's mind must be silent for him to hear it. "That is absolutely amazing…if only I could…hey there's a number at the bottom! Hmm, maybe I should call…I've been kinda anxious lately so it might help relieve my…"

"BANKOTSU! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU WATCHING!" Jakotsu's voice rang out behind him like a tyrant as the living room light accompanied with blinding force. "OH MY GOD THAT ISN'T, HOLY SHIT IT IS! MY VIRGIN EYES!"

With a startled cry of surprise, Bankotsu quickly turned the TV off and slowly turned to face Jakotsu's gaping mouth and bulging eyes. "Heheh, hey there Jakotsu, what are you doing up? Heheh, didn't hear you come down." Bankotsu gulped loudly, and attempted to clear his throat. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to have seen more than I ever want to see again." His muscular arms crossed loosely over his purple silk nightshirt.

Bankotsu adverted his blue eyes. "Oh."

"How long? How long, Banky?" Jakotsu asked as he hopped over the back of the couch and plopped down next to his attractive friend.

Panic filled Bankotsu's throat as fear threatened to paralyze him. "I-it wasn't wha-what it looked like! I-I was…flipping through the channels, yeah that's it! I was channel surfing and it just came on! You have to believe me." He laughed nervously while scratching the back of his head.

With the raise of an eyebrow Jakotsu accusingly regarded Banky. "You mean to say that it was an 'accident'? And you think I'm going to believe such a thing! What the hell is wrong with you! You were totally into it!"

"But-but, I can explain!" Bankotsu wailed vainly.

"Just what exactly was it about?"

"It was about this…uh, I don't know. Like I said before, I was just surfing…"

"Turn the TV back on and we'll just see exactly what you were watching."

Bankotsu's face dropped and, with a childish possession, gripped the remote to his chest. "No way! It was nothing anyway!"

"Quick! Look, it's Bob Barker!" Jakotsu exclaimed loudly pointing in front of him.

"Huh? Where?" Bankotsu turned his head and had no power to do anything when Jakotsu snatched the remote from his hands. "Aw, damnit! Every time that one gets me…"

Jakotsu stuck his tongue out as he clicked on the TV. The exact same program from just a few minutes ago came into focus. "Oh my…"

Bankotsu buried his head in his hands, repeatedly murmuring, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…"

"How can you even call yourself a man! This is a disgrace!"

"It seemed like the right thing to watch…it's not that bad."

"Yes it is! Just look at that wench, she has no shame! Oh Banky, what have you become!" Jakotsu dramatically cried, a river of tears spilling from his eyes.

"IT'S NOT THAT BAD! IT'S JUST VERY INFORMAL!"

"They've already repeated that phrase three times since we turned it on! How can you call that 'informal'?" he wailed.

"It-it wasn't my fault! Banryuu wanted to watch it!" He pointed to the halberd leaning in the corner. "Honestly, I was against it from the start."

Jakotsu rolled his eyes, his tears no longer flowing. "Sure, blame it on the inanimate weapon that's so conveniently placed…you think I'm gonna believe that?"

Looking down as he twiddled his thumbs, Bankotsu sighed and replied with a decline of his head. "I don't know what the big deal is, I wasn't mast-" his sentence was aburtly cut off.

"The big deal is that no one in their right mind should watch this shit! Are you that depraved and sick that you feel the need to watch this." He motioned to the TV with his hands. "How long has this been going on, Banky?"

"About three months…"

Jakotsu's eyes widened. "Three months…why di-didn't you tell me? I could've helped you so you wouldn't have felt the need to watch this."

Bankotsu gave a long sigh. "I didn't know this was gonna happen, I thought that I would be able to change the channel…but I just can't."

"Oh Banky, Banky, Banky," Jakotsu mumbled as he wrapped his strong arms around Bankotsu and pulled the rather shocked leader into a tight embrace. "It's okay, everything's gonna be okay."

"Jakotsu…? What the hell?"

The television continued to play unnoticed by the two, credits rolled on the screen as the broadcast ended, drawing Jakotsu's attention. _"This has been a paid presentation by TimeLife," _he read aloud. "Oh Banky…how could you be so dumb…"

"It was the greatest collection of soul on five CD's…you're not going to find anything like it in stores…haven't you ever found a CD that had just one song you liked on it, and then picked up a different one and that two had one song you liked on it? Why spend hundreds of dollars and waste time buying and looking for them, when you could call and order all of the greatest soul music from the 60's, 70's and 80's," Bankotsu muttered into Jakotsu's chest. "Oh god," he choked out. "I need help!"

"Shhhh, shhh, shhh. It'll be alright, Jakotsu's here. He'll make everything better, don't worry. I think I can fix this."

"I thought it would be different."

"Infomercials can lie like that." Releasing Bankotsu from his embrace, Jakotsu looked to the TV. There was a man showing the power of OxiClean, he ran around the set wildly screaming and yelling about the power of the stuff.

"OxiClean Active Stain Remover gets out your toughest stains and odors such as wine, blood, dirt, tomato, pet stains, grass and even some set-in stains!" the overly hyper man on TV yelled as he produced a white shirt. He dump a glass of red wine on it and held it up so that the viewers could get a better visual. "This unique formula starts to work before your eyes!" He squirted an ocean of the cleaning stuff on the shirt and held the shirt up, sure enough, the red wine seemed to be less drastic in color. "It it chlorine-free and color-safe! Use it on carpet, car upholstery and clothing!"

"Wow, I almost want to…" Jakotsu gasped loudly as he began to realize what was happening to him. It was almost like a mind control machine's rays were incorporated into the glow of the television screen. Quickly punching in the three random numbers 5-9-5, he was greeted by two naked women in a hot tub making out. Jakotsu screamed at the top of his lungs as he blushed a deep shade of crimson and hastily hit power on the remote, silencing the evil that found its way into the homes of many.

"You see," Bankotsu started. "It's so easy to fall into their grasp."

"Oh, Banky! That was horrible! I can't believe it!" he sobbed. "Hold me!"

Bankotsu timidly took the shuddering speck of existence, know as Jakotsu, in his arms. "It's okay, Jakotsu…it happens to the best of us, I remember the endorsement they had for Acme Anvils…"

"How can the cable companies allow such evil to infiltrate the minds of humans like that?" Jakotsu sobbed into Banky's strong chest.

"We need to put a stop to it!" Bankotsu yelled as he released his friend and rose to his feet, proudly thrusting his fist into the air.

"They were completely naked! And they were kissing and fondling each other's breasts! This must be stopped!"

Bankotsu lowered his fist and stared with big, confused eyes at Jakotsu. "What about the infomercials? They have the power to take over a person's mind."

"Huh? Oh, yeah yeah. Those too."

THE END!

(Well, what'd ya think? I know it was short, but oh well. There might be more to come I don't know, but I will warn you…infomercials do have the power to take over a person's mind…beware!)


End file.
